I know that as a black man I can’t afford to be closed.

– Byron (he/him)

Seven years ago, Byron discovers that he has two cancerous tumors on his bladder, and is facing a long road to his cancer-free diagnosis. He learns that the effects of the daily racism can literally grind down his health and destroy his quality of life. It’s only when he decides to let go of the anger and fear that he can truly heal.

“I know that as a black man I can’t afford to be closed. If I give into the anger and fear that I find within myself and in the world around me I won’t heal.”

Want More Black Stories Matter Content?
Stories have the power to increase visibility, raise awareness, change people’s hearts and minds, and inspire people to take meaningful action. We are making every effort to ensure all of our Black Stories Matter content is easily accessible, widely consumed, and is accompanied by tools to deepen the impact.

Watch: We will share a story from our Black Stories Matter archives every weekday in June. Please follow us on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter to easily access this content.

Listen: The TMI Project Story Hour, Season Two: Black Stories Matter, launches on July 16th. Learn more and subscribe to our podcast HERE

Host: a Black Stories Matter viewing party and discussion from anywhere in the world. Click HERE to learn more and sign up.

Share: TMI Project’s mission with Black Stories Matter is to elevate the underrepresented stories of the Black experience in America – the full spectrum – the triumphs, humor, beauty, and resilience. Click HERE to submit your story to be featured on the TMI Project blog.

Learn: Resources for anti-racism activism

Growing up around all white people messes my mind up

– Callie (they/them)

Callie Jayne grew up in a white world. Faced with mental illness and addiction, they had to learn how to overcome the pressures of a predominantly white and racist world. But those struggles, piece by piece, changed her expectations of what their life as a black woman could look like.

“When I get pregnant with Liliana, I am five months sober. I am given two options: get married or get an abortion. So I choose the path of creating the life that was expected of me.”

I am learning to love me, my body, my hair, my blackness, my soul

– Zanyell (she/her)

In the face of racism and daily microaggressions, Zanyell spends years starving herself and self-harming in an attempt to disappear. Eventually, she finds love and yoga and starts to feel more comfortable taking her rightful space in the world.

“It isn’t a conscious thought in the moment, but I know that this is when I decide I don’t want to be seen; not for my blackness.”

Want More Black Stories Matter Content?
Stories have the power to increase visibility, raise awareness, change people’s hearts and minds, and inspire people to take meaningful action. We are making every effort to ensure all of our Black Stories Matter content is easily accessible, widely consumed, and is accompanied by tools to deepen the impact.

Watch: We will share a story from our Black Stories Matter archives every weekday in June. Please follow us on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter to easily access this content.

Listen: The TMI Project Story Hour, Season Two: Black Stories Matter, launches on July 16th. Learn more and subscribe to our podcast HERE

Host: a Black Stories Matter viewing party and discussion from anywhere in the world. Click HERE to learn more and sign up.

Share: TMI Project’s mission with Black Stories Matter is to elevate the underrepresented stories of the Black experience in America – the full spectrum – the triumphs, humor, beauty, and resilience. Click HERE to submit your story to be featured on the TMI Project blog.

Learn: Resources for anti-racism activism

Am I not black enough? Am I too black? Am I too white?

– Ezra (he/him)

11-year-old Ezra is playing in the street with his two friends when the cops were called for a “disturbance.” During his questioning, Ezra begins to worry about how he’s perceived. He realizes he has a small panic attack every time he sees a police car.

“I don’t realize I’m doing it but I try to act white and never fall into the black stereotype. I don’t listen to rap music. I listen to Taylor Swift, Katy Perry and pop music. I don’t use much slang. I’m afraid of a stereotype that I don’t even know much about yet.”

I’m not a teacher or a nurse, but I often play one on TV

– Twinkle (she/her)

While our newest group of storytellers immerse themselves in TMI Project’s true storytelling workshop in preparation for performing their stories live at Black Stories Matter at Black History Month Kingston on February 15th, we’re diving into TMI Project’s Black Stories Matter archive. 

Follow along all month as we share stories from the eight brave storytellers who performed last Summer. First up: Twinkle Burke.

Twinkle isn’t a teacher or a nurse, but sometimes she plays one on TV. Because in the acting world, producers and writers like to cast women of color as nurturers and teachers and nurses are the most popular.

“I realize that being Black means a lot of different things. It’s making the choice to not be a nurturing Mammy; to embrace Betye Saar’s machine-gun-toting Aunt Jemima archetype.  It’s the declaration that I’ll nurture you on my time in my way IF I want.”

Want More Black Stories Matter Content?
Stories have the power to increase visibility, raise awareness, change people’s hearts and minds, and inspire people to take meaningful action. We are making every effort to ensure all of our Black Stories Matter content is easily accessible, widely consumed, and is accompanied by tools to deepen the impact.

Listen: The TMI Project Story Hour, Season Two: Black Stories Matter, launches this fall. Learn more and subscribe to our podcast HERE

Host: a Black Stories Matter viewing party and discussion from anywhere in the world. Click HERE to learn more and sign up.

Share: TMI Preoject’s mission with Black Stories Matter is to elevate the underrepresented stories of the Black experience in America – the full spectrum – the triumphs, humor, beauty, and resilience. Click HERE to submit your story to be featured on the TMI Project blog.

Learn: Resources for anti-racism activism

A Q & A with Nationally Recognized, Visionary Musician, Drummer, and Poet Ubaka Hill

TMI Project recently had the opportunity to interview the nationally recognized musician, drummer, poet, master teacher of hand drumming, and 2019 Agent of Change honoree Ubaka Hill

Ubaka Hill (she/her) has been a performer of percussion, poetry, and song for over 30 years and a teacher of hand drumming for over 25 years. She is the visionary founder of the Million Women Drummers Gathering Global Initiative and the founder and curator of The Drumsong Institute Museum & Archive of Women’s Drumming Traditions of women’s folkloric and contemporary drumming. She is also one of three Agent of Change honorees at TMI Project’s 2019 Voices in Action: Benefit & Storytelling Showcase. Read on for our Q & A with Ubaka.

“It was during this “coming of age” where I awakened to being a Woman, a Black Woman and the role I have in representing myself and all of us. My Pride deepened as a Woman of Color and as a Lesbian which required self-honesty, deep healing, and unpacking internalized racisim, sexism, classism, and homophobia through self-love and acceptance.”

TMI PROJECT: What does being honored as a TMI Project Agent of Change mean to you?

UH: Being an Agent of Change honoree lets me know that my creative service and activism (artivism) in local and national communities are recognized and appreciated by TMI Project; that my visionary work and achievements of over 30 years matter and are worthy of public recognition. This honor will also show the importance of the arts and of artists as influencers, leaders, and activists (artivists) in the movements of social change.

TMI PROJECT: What would you say most motivates you to do what you do?  What are you most excited or passionate about? What are the goals you most want to accomplish in your work, the goals you hold personally?

UH: I know that I have the power to encourage and inspire positive social change through the power of music, art, and spoken word.

My biggest personal goal is to inspire another generation to use the power of their creative intelligence to make positive changes that are impactful and sustainable. I am either in the planning stages of or actively working on so many other projects: I plan to produce a few more CDs, to write a historical book and presentation about the ancient and emerging Women’s Drumming Traditions; and I am working on a music video called “She Who Rises”. I am also an oil painter and would like to continue to produce my art as prints and note cards, just to name a few.

TMI PROJECT: Did you have any life-changing experiences that put you on the path that led you to be doing what you’re doing today?  Tell us about them.

UH: I was born in the Bronx, NY in 1956 a Brown-Skinned African American Woman. From my youth into early adulthood years I lived in Jersey City, NY. I’ve had life-changing experiences throughout my life, and I continue to have them.

I was a child during the timeline of MLK and MX, Angela Davis and James Brown and many others who are historically noted and not noted. As a 13-year-old, I was aware of the Civil Rights Movement and the violence and devastation from the organized forces pushing back against change. The riots were in my neighborhood, on my block, and on TV.  I was also aware that many White families, friends and business owners were afraid. I did not yet have the political acumen to understand what was going on and why. I felt helpless, afraid, and confused. I wasn’t sure if things would get better but I held that possibility in my heart.

By High School, I learned that Black people were systematically mistreated, disrespected and oppressed by racist white people who didn’t like us, who didn’t want us to have equal rights, who didn’t want us in their neighborhoods or to go to schools with their children. I learned that my family came from Africa as slaves held captive by white colonizers, missionaries and global capitalists. The Black Panther Party was very active during this time, and it was also a time of my own political awakening grounded in art, poetry, music, graffiti, novels, dance, and theatre. 

By the time I was 17, I knew that I wanted to be part of the movement for positive change, equal rights and justice for “my people” because I was afraid and I was heartbroken and I knew that life had to better for us. I also knew that non-violence was my way of influencing change and that art and creative expression was my medium. I was 13 when I was presented by my art teacher with my name Ubaka.

At 17 I met a woman drummer for the first time named Edwina Lee Tyler. She made a great impression on me. Here was a woman drumming on the Conga Drum and later an African Djembe. I had only ever seen men drumming. Seeing her gave me permission to drum as a girl. During this period of time, I helped to form an ensemble of musicians for positive social change. We called the group the Spirit of Life Ensemble. I played jazz on my Conga with a lot of great Jazz musicians like Daoud Williams, Calvin Hill, Pharaoh Sanders, and Joe Lee Wilson to name just a few. I was the youngest member and the only woman for many of the 8 years that I was a core member. This is where I learned to drum and I experienced the power of music and the arts in the movement of social change.

By my early 20’s I legally changed my name to Ubaka, and moved to Brooklyn where I “came of age” again as a Black African American Woman, Lesbian, and artist. It was in Brooklyn where I learned to Drum like a powerful Black Woman with a cause. It was there in Fort Greene Brooklyn where I learned and witnessed the beauty and passion of Black Women’s art, music, storytelling, body, adornment, and creative self-expression. It was there and then where I sat in the audience of and around the kitchen table of Audre Lourde, Nikie Giovani, Pat Parker, Edwina Lee Tyler, Sapphire, The Women of the Calabash, Jewel Gomez, and Sonia Sanchez and so many more artists and activists. My Pride deepened as a Woman of Color and as a Lesbian which required self-honesty, deep healing and unpacking internalized racism, sexism, classism, and homophobia through self-love and acceptance.

During my time living and growing upwards in Brooklyn, I learned what it meant to be a feminist. In addition to Edwina, there were many Women that were an inspiration who influenced me and had a positive impact on me in different ways: Dorothy Stoneman, the founder of the Youth Action Program / Youth Build USA; Lisa Vogal, founder of the Michigan Women’s Music Festival; Maya Angelou; Harriet Tubman; Oprah Winfrey; Vicki Noble, Author / Motherpeace; Audre Lourde; Madeline Yayodela Nelson, founder of Women of the Calabash; Kay Gardner, Musician/Composer; Elizabeth Lesser, founder of Omega Institute; and Bev Grant; Musician /Artivist of the Human Condition; Eve Ensler and Holly Near. What all of these women have in common for me is that they went big with their visions for healing and progressive change. They did with self-permission and courage while pioneering new pathways for peace and dignity.

My life changed when I embraced the fact that all women and girls are targets of systematic, organized patriarchal oppression and violence. I became acutely aware that our collective, worldwide oppression is the common drive that powers our collective movement for our human rights. Teaching drumming to women has informed the focus of my teaching over the years. I’ve deepened my research and added more knowledge about women’s drumming traditions and drumming as a healing tool.  In addition to teaching women how to play and to play the rhythms and music, I included drumming as a healing modality and healing circles, tools for personal transformation, encouraging joy, wellness, and building community.

I would have to write a book to speak about the influences of the Women that I have mentioned. There are also men who have inspired my coming of age and that had a very positive life-changing impact on my development as an artist and activist. Nelson Mandela, Sun Bear, Baba Olatunji, Daoud Williams, Cliff Watson to name a few.  What all of these Women and Men have in common for me is that they went big with their big vision for radical progressive change not just for themselves but for the greater good of many.

TMI PROJECT: What’s next for you in your work in our Hudson Valley community?  What are you looking forward to?

UH: In 2010 I was called by a vision to focus on being active in the environmental sustainability cause from the point of view as a drummer, a consumer of wooden musical instruments made from trees and I founded the Million Women Drummers Global (MWDG) Initiative. I’m now focused on the ongoing development of the (MWDG) Initiative, which includes collaborating, partnerships and community organizing to plant trees and play music together locally. MWDG also includes information, mindfulness, and consciousness-raising to influence a “new mindful model” for a sustainable future and to increase the number of trees in our neighborhoods for environmental and health benefits.

I’m also looking forward to working with the Center for Creative Education as the Music Director of the Percussion Orchestra of Kingston (P.O.O.K).  I’m excited to build upon the long legacy of founder Ev Mann and to continue to teach and feature the creative intelligence of children and youth of Kingston. To create a model of art education and socially responsible mindfulness and leadership through creative self-expression, self-development and community involvement.

Working Together to Shape Boys into Great Young Men

The Story of TMI Project’s Partnership with Coach Jeramie Collins

After Tony Porter of A Call to Men and I decided we wanted to work with high school football players and document the process, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that Jeramie Collins coach of the Kingston High School football team was the man to turn to.

TMI Project storytellers had shared the stage with Coach Collins’ football players at a One Billion Rising event in Kingston two years earlier where TMI Project storytellers relayed personal stories about surviving domestic violence and Coach Collins’ players were recognized for their commitment to standing up against violence against women. This was the first time I had heard of a football coach getting his team involved in social justice and activism.

The following year, Tony presented at Ulster County Community College for Domestic Violence Awareness Day where I sat in the front row. I looked across the aisle and, there he was again. Coach Collins with a few of his football players were listening to Tony talk about the cultural expectations of masculinity. I was impressed. Not only did the coach get his players to attend, he also encouraged them to participate. He was clearly dedicated to shaping these boys into great young men.

I asked Coach Collins to partner with TMI Project and A Call to Men. He was on board without hesitation from the moment I posed the idea. Within 24 hours he had approval from the school’s principal and buy-in from the other coaches.

As you can imagine, getting a bunch of teen boys to share their emotional “TMI” stories has some inherent challenges. But Coach Collins doesn’t give up. He keeps encouraging his students to show up and he always models emotional courage. He’s shared his own stories in every workshop, performed alongside his students, and he let all 60 players know that he tends to cry easily and there’s nothing wrong with that. TMI Project is honored to recognize Coach Jeramie Collins for being a powerful example, and for always encouraging young men to bravely share their stories and have the courage to speak up in the face of violence against girls and women.

TMI Project is honoring Coach Collins, along with activist Tony Porter and three other Hudson Valley leaders and change-makers, on September 28th, 2017 at Voices in Action: Community Outreach Showcase & Fundraiser. We hope you will join us!

With gratitude,

Eva Tenuto

Working Together to Tell Black Stories & Inspire Social Action

The Story of Callie Jayne’s Partnership with TMI Project

When TMI Project started working on Black Stories Matter, our project that seeks to raise awareness around issues of anti-Black racism, inequality and injustice through true storytelling, we knew that it was critical that we create a program that not only impacted people while they were sitting in their seats in the theater but also spurred them to action after the show was over. We knew we could create the stories but we needed the right partner for the follow-through. We approached Callie Jayne from Citizen Action about a partnership and she was eager to jump on board and incite a true culture-shift in our Hudson Valley community.

I remember going to her off​​​​ice one day for an initial meeting. She was juggling a million things but she graciously took the time to watch the short video we had created with my iPhone during a recent rehearsal. When she’d finished watching, with tears in her eyes she said, “Okay, we can pass out flyers when we go door-knocking. Do you have anyone phone banking for you? How can we make sure the neighborhoods that are often forgotten about find out about this and have access to this show?” She was all action.

Callie helped us navigate all the logistics leading up to our first Black Stories Matter show, dissecting the complexities of decision-making around an event about race in Kingston’s mostly segregated community. She helped us spread the world and included outreach in her local activism. And she was there the night of the show with a table in the lobby where people could register to vote and sign up to take action in our community.

TMI Project’s work with Callie has just begun. We know we have social justice movement building in our shared future and look forward to collaborating again and again. The Hudson Valley is blessed to have a force like Callie Jayne, fighting for our rights every day. She’s relentless and passionate, and we are honored to recognize her as a Voices in Action Agent of Change.

TMI Project is honoring Callie, along with activist Tony Porter and three other Hudson Valley leaders and activists, on September 28th, 2017 at Voices in Action: Community Outreach Showcase & Fundraiser. We hope you will join us!

With gratitude,

Eva Tenuto

I’ll walk into a room filled with white people.

Drew (he/him)

Every time Drew leaves his house, he has to mentally and emotionally prepare himself for the backlash from society.

#blacklivesmatter #blackstoriesmatter #defendblacklives

I’ll walk into a room filled with white people. Whether I’m the one who initiated the meeting or not, the entire conversation will be directed toward my white counterparts, with an occasional glance in my direction to acknowledge I’m in the room.

As soon as I leave my home, I walk around bracing myself, as if I’m about to get hit by Mike Tyson. I have to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for society’s continual blows – people looking, acting, and speaking to me as if I don’t belong. I wonder if it’s just me or if I’ve inherited PTSD from the trauma passed down from my ancestors, from slavery — steeped in my genes and part of my DNA? Or am I just paranoid? I ask myself these questions every day as I prepare for the inevitable.

Someone will ignore me while I’m patiently waiting in line. I’ll have that stupid smirk on my face; I won’t be able to speak up and say, “excuse me” or else I’ll be looked at as overly aggressive and labeled “The Angry Black Man!”

I’ll walk into a room filled with white people. Whether I’m the one who initiated the meeting or not, the entire conversation will be directed toward my white counterparts, with an occasional glance in my direction to acknowledge I’m in the room.

I’ll graciously hold the door open for a white person, and they’ll look at me as if that’s what I’m supposed to do. There is no “Thank you.” They’ll just continue walking.

I’ll drive the speed limit as I always do. The person behind me will be in a rush. I’ll pull over to let them pass, and they’ll roll down their window and shout, “Stupid Nigger!” Then speed off.

So I’ll ask again: Is it me? Am I just paranoid, or does society conspire against blacks? Are white people taught to be racist and are blacks taught to question and hate themselves and each other?

Want More Black Stories Matter Content?
Stories have the power to increase visibility, raise awareness, change people’s hearts and minds, and inspire people to take meaningful action. We are making every effort to ensure all of our Black Stories Matter content is easily accessible, widely consumed, and is accompanied by tools to deepen the impact.

Listen: The TMI Project Story Hour, Season Two: Black Stories Matter, launches this fall. Learn more and subscribe to our podcast HERE

Host: a Black Stories Matter viewing party and discussion from anywhere in the world. Click HERE to learn more and sign up.

Share: TMI Project’s mission with Black Stories Matter is to elevate the underrepresented stories of the Black experience in America – the full spectrum – the triumphs, humor, beauty, and resilience. Click HERE to submit your story to be featured on the TMI Project blog.

Learn: Resources for anti-racism activism

Why couldn’t I be black and be the true me?

Callie (she/her)

Thinking back over her own difficult journey with their racial identity, Callie ponders the question, “How can I help my daughter feel proud of her own blackness?’

#blacklivesmatter #blackstoriesmatter #defendblacklives

I hated black people for a while. I felt they judged me for being me. And I was trying so hard to figure out who I was. Did I need hoop earrings and air force ones to be black? Did I have to to do my hair and nails? Why couldn’t I be black and be the true me?

My 9-year-old daughter recently said to me, “I wish I could be a beautiful black woman, Mommy.” She’s very fair, and I often feel guilty at how relieved I am that she can, “pass.” I want her to be a proud black woman, but I also don’t want her to suffer through what I went through as a black girl, and woman, not fitting in.

I moved to Wilton, CT, an all white town, when I was 8. On my first day of fourth grade, a boy on the bus called me a nigger. I didn’t know what that was, but I knew it was bad. I told my principal, and he was appalled. His response – have me teach the school about Kwanzaa. He wanted me to explain different holidays from “my culture” to a school full of white people. I didn’t even celebrate Kwanzaa.

What was it like being the only black kid? Well, for starters, every day people told me I wasn’t really black. As far as they were concerned, black people were “gangsta” or spoke in ebonics, listened to rap music and wore hoop earrings. My whole life, everyone I knew, convinced me that I wasn’t one of those “homegirls”. They mocked ethnic names, and talked about the “hood”. As far as I was concerned, I wasn’t black either. My mother only had white friends. I only had white friends.

People thought I wasn’t black because I wasn’t that hoop-wearing homegirl. I began to believe that, too. I wasn’t black. I wasn’t white. What was I? I tried so hard to be “white.” I began to hate BET. I wore bell-bottoms and tie-dyes, listened to The Grateful Dead and The Beatles, while still being followed in stores.

When The ABC Kids, nine black boys from inner-cities, came to my high school, suddenly, everyone assumed they would be my best friends. But, they mocked me. The same things that made the white people accept me, separated me from the black people I finally had an opportunity to interact with. The black boys hated me because I was a poser. I wasn’t black. I wasn’t white. But, who was I?

I hated black people for a while. I felt they judged me for being me. And I was trying so hard to figure out who I was. Did I need hoop earrings and air force ones to be black? Did I have to to do my hair and nails? Why couldn’t I be black and be the true me?

Now, many years later, I’m an activist and an organizer for social justice. As a leader, my job is to call people in and help them understand institutionalized or systemic racism. I can do that. I can use my voice and position of power to explain to white people how offensive or hurtful they are. I can explain that their privilege is more than not being called a nigger. It’s feeling safe when going to doctors who aren’t racist toward them. It’s knowing teachers aren’t racist towards their children. I can explain hard things, lead marches, scream into a megaphone, train young leaders and work to create change. And while it’s a challenge, I’m capable of doing these things.

What I don’t know how to do is make my daughter proud of her blackness. How do I make her proud while simultaneously trying to protect her from being pulled over in parking lots and followed in stores? I’m not sure. I guess I still don’t know what being black means, so how do I teach my daughters?

Want More Black Stories Matter Content?
Stories have the power to increase visibility, raise awareness, change people’s hearts and minds, and inspire people to take meaningful action. We are making every effort to ensure all of our Black Stories Matter content is easily accessible, widely consumed, and is accompanied by tools to deepen the impact.

Listen: The TMI Project Story Hour, Season Two: Black Stories Matter, launches this fall. Learn more and subscribe to our podcast HERE

Host: a Black Stories Matter viewing party and discussion from anywhere in the world. Click HERE to learn more and sign up.

Share: TMI Project’s mission with Black Stories Matter is to elevate the underrepresented stories of the Black experience in America – the full spectrum – the triumphs, humor, beauty, and resilience. Click HERE to submit your story to be featured on the TMI Project blog.

Learn: Resources for anti-racism activism